I wanna bring you to show and tell
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
