Don't you send me to vm
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
