Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
