is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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