normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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