she was so not down for the gang bang
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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