it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
