I can tuck mytits in my pants
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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