that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
