Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
