Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
smell my finger.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
