Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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