can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
