we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
