i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I think your dad took our porno
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
