Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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