I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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