we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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