I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
