Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
