there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
