the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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