Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
