I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize