Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
