Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
