i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
is that a dick in a sweater?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
