I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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