How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
