Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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