got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
