so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
