I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
