ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I have aggressive nipples.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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