i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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