Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
