Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
