I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
