Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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