paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize