dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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