The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
