i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Randomize
