my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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