porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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