Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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