Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
