what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
