There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
