Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
