I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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