Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
