No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She needs sedatives and a leash
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
