After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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