Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
