Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
NoShamevember. You game?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
