They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think your dad took our porno
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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