You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Still dying that you shit outside
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
