Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
