I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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