he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
